Read Aaron Lazare’s requirements for an effective apology. These attempted apologies and expressions of consolation failed to elicit. Aaron Lazare, M.D., a noted scholar on the psychology of shame and humiliation, offers a thoroughly engaging and lucid examination of an important and. On Apology, by Aaron Lazare. New York, Oxford University. Press, , pp., $ What a pleasure to read a book by a prominent psychiatrist.

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He asserts that, as our world continues to become ‘smaller’ as the result of being more closely inter-connected, the apology should be mankind’s primary interest as well.

He talks about cultural differences in apologizing, mainly focusing on American, Japanese and Chinese sensibilities.

On Apology by Aaron Lazare

Get to Know Us. Books by Aaron Lazare.

This book definitely informed my own work as I wrote “Inheriting the Trade” and will continue to inform my writing and my life. They need to be in control of their emotions.

Mistakes will be investigated. Lazare says yes and gives some real life examples, including drivers apologizing to each other using facial expressions and hand gestures, President Harry S. My daughter castigated her by saying, “You should have known that I am allergic to nuts and would never have taken a brownie with nuts.

Schizophrenia and Psychotic Spectrum Disorders S. Within the above structure of apology, an effective apology can generate forgiveness and reconciliation if it satisfies one or more of seven psychological needs in the offended party. In such times, emotions run high, preserving face and an image of strength are critical, and it is all too easy to demonize the enemy.

May 28, David rated it it was amazing. We breathe easier knowing that our original estimation lazaer the offending party was correct after all: The world we inhabit is far from perfect. We can only hope that current and subsequent aarn in the United States, Iraq, and other nations can, in the decades ahead, acknowledge their offenses, express their remorse, and offer apoloy for acts committed during wartime.


For example, a woman who has been abused by an unrepentant husband may forgive him but choose to live apart. People hurt other people, even those we never mean to hurt and understanding the lazate of making apologies in our lives is a very important part of human interaction. lazard

It allows the reader to analyze what’s gone awry in broken situations, and possibly develop a plan of action to rectify.

View all 9 comments. Add both to Cart Add both to List. The next important phase of an apology is the explanation. A nice blend of scientific pop-culture and clear definitions and stories. Aafon heals the festering wound and commits the offender to a change in behavior.

On Apology

My wife now remembered putting it there. There are many nuggets of wisdom to be gleaned from this book, such as how to give an effective and proper apology, when aaorn apology immediately and when to wait, and why apologies can be powerful and life changing even lazaare more than half a century between the actual apology and the original offense.

Why is it so difficult to apologize? By providing specific examples of how nations and individuals aapology apologized for their offenses in the past, he offers the optimistic idea that offending parties have made an ongoing commitment to change their behavior to those they have offended.

So often we fear dealing with the complicated issue of apology when, in fact, apology is part of the pathway to healing damaged relationships. President Clinton, President Grant. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. On the back cover of the book, there is a quote from the starred review from ‘Publishers Weekly’: No one who becomes familiar with Dr.

Could a president who has never served in the military successfully apologize on behalf of the nation? Whether you know all or none of these stories, they are fascinating as Lazare breaks them down and analyzes the motives behind the apologies and if they were sincere or not.


Learn more about Amazon Giveaway. He carefully disambiguates the elements of an apology, the motivations that push us to want apologies, the motives that push us to want to give them, the timing of apologies, failed apologies, etc.

Also the examples of failed apologies and how they can make thing worse than saying nothing and who amoung us has not recieved an insulting apology that hurt rather than healed. We are forever touching other peoples lives in ways that may not always be the most congenial and because of misunderstanding, anger.

This book will teach you the art on how to apologize and why it is neccessary.

Making Peace Through Apology | Greater Good

Our daughter denied it even more emphatically. He is aleading authority on the psychology of shame and humiliation, and wrote a highly regarded article on apology in Psychology Today that led to appearances on “Oprah,” “Talk of the Nation,” and many other TV and radio shows. Green, and Katharine J.

One of the most profound interactions that can occur between people, apologies have the power to heal humiliations, free the mind from deep-seated guilt, remove the desire for vengeance, and ultimately restore broken relationships. These kinds of nuanced situations are not addressed. Apr 23, Grace rated it liked it Shelves: In a perfect world. Neither President Bush nor Condoleezza Rice accepted such responsibility. Not sure how since apparently sees apologies as a chance to really humiliate people and rub their faces in feces.

He wanted to have power over him.